All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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