it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
