jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize