We named our party play list daddy issues
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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