is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
