you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
