Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
