This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize