we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
