ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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