Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How does it feel to date your dad?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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