i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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