Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
