Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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