It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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