I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
