the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
