Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
