he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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