We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
