i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
