you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize