I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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