Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
