You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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