I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
