Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
