good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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