dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize