yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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