I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
