I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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