I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
