Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
