Don't you send me to vm
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
