I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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