Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
