guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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