The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
