Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what day is it and did you see me today?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize