he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
