; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
