Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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