You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
