Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize