just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
