just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
