Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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