What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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