It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
