i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
