She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think weed is turning my hair brown
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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