Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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