How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
