You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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