Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize