I hate your face
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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