I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
