did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
