so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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