Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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