he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
