so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
