he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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