You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
