I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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