i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
