lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
