Non-Jews are for practice
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
