I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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