she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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