dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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