i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
