I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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