Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
